Archive for the ‘weeklypost2011’ Tag

‘Tis the Season   Leave a comment

Ah, December.  That time of year when the weather is colder, everyone looks back on the previous year, we pick which holiday parties we are going to, and I gain 10 pounds.

It’s the Christmas cookies.  I am a cookie monster from my early childhood, and Christmas cookies are the best!  And the pie.  Can’t forget the pie.  Oh, and eggnog lattes at Starbucks.  With a pumpkin scone, ‘natch!  December is a time when I spend too much, eat too much, and when January rolls around I always face the consequences of my high credit card bill and tight clothes.

Each year it is the same.  Except for this one thing:  this year I have a sweetheart.  It will be my first Christmas with my honey.  Since he calls himself an atheist and was raised Jewish the whole Christmas thing is almost nulled, but still — we will be together during “The Holidays” – that all important time of the year.  We sailed easily through Thanksgiving and I have no doubt Christmas will be the same.

‘Tis the season.  And this season, I will have a very special someone to be with.  And for that I’m thankful.

Posted December 9, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Musings

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Changes   2 comments

Now that I am in a relationship, I’ve found the pace, ebb, and flow of my life has changed.  Not really in uncomfortable ways, but definitely different.

Because I choose to spend as much time on the weekend as I can with him, I am doing my grocery shopping Sunday afternoons.  Sunday afternoons are one of the wastelands in a grocery store.  Everything has been picked over by the Saturday shoppers, and those shoppers that are in the store seem to be there because they didn’t have time on Saturday, don’t have time on Sunday, but must complete their shopping before moving on to the next thing in their busy lives.  The store doesn’t have what I want/need, it is crowded, and the shoppers are rushed and harried.  I hate shopping on Sunday afternoons. 

I don’t have Saturday mornings to spend cleaning and laundry and doing yard work.  Instead, I have to squeeze in my laundry Thursday mornings (which fits in with my housemates laundry schedule).  I clean during the week after work.  And I do yard work when I can and weather permitting.  I hate doing my laundry in a hurry, quickly folding and putting things away before hurrying off to work.  I hate cleaning the house after work, or squeezing it in quickly on Sunday afternoons.  And I like to take my time and enjoy the yard work; not have to feel like I have to hurry up and do it because I have to hurry up and do something else.

I make these changes in my life because of the choices I make in spending time with my boyfriend.  And honestly, I am enjoying spending time with him so much I don’t mind cramming so much in on Sundays, or changing when I get a pedicure or do my laundry or the bathroom cleaning schedule.  Because he is worth it.  And when I’m with him, I’m happy. When I’m not, I count the minutes until I am.  So a few changes in my schedule, some inconvenience, some rearranging …… all that I will gladly do.

Posted November 18, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Musings, Randomness

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Blanket Bling   2 comments

My sister bought a panel to make a blanket for her grandson (my great-nephew) for his naps at day care.  She asked me to add some embroidery bling to it.  I’ve been toiling away at it all week.  Not really – embroidery is very relaxing.

I used only a few stitches.  This blanket will be used daily and washed, so the stitches had to be sturdy and stand up to wear.  I used back-stitch and a bit of satin stitch.  Some french knots for accents.  The umbrella is done in long and short.  I also used enroaching stem stitch a lot.  It looks nice, and stands up well to wear and tear.  The egg has whipped running stitch and couching stitches.  I also added accents to the pre-printed designs, such as the insect.  You may not be able to see all the details, but here is a sample of what I did.

U is for.... umbrella W is for.... watermelon

 
 

O is for... octopus and H is for... house

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

S is for..... sun and K is for... key

 

T is for.... tie and L is for.... ladder

Z is for... zipper and E is for.... egg

Posted October 30, 2011 by Maureen in Art (if you wanna call it that), DIY

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On the Edge   Leave a comment

Do you remember that Indiana Jones movie (“The Last Crusade”) where Indiana was following the clues to get to the holy grail, and he had to step blindly off the side of a sheer precipice?  There was nothing there – he couldn’t see anything – but he had to get to the grail.  He had to take that step, that first step, that would lead him to what he sought so badly.

Yeah — that’s what I have felt like.  Taking the first step is very hard.  But each further step along the path to a closer, deeper relationship with the man I’m dating is also hard.  The potential for hurt grows.  The potential for joy grows.  The potential for irritation, the potential for happiness. 

What I’m finding is that it is hard. No doubt about that.  But for me, going slowly, a little bit at a time, allows me to be comfortable, to feel safe about my feelings, and it also gives us a chance to know each other.  And that part is easy. 

I’ve already taken the first step.  We’ll see how many more steps I end up taking.

Posted October 23, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Musings

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Teeter Totter   Leave a comment

Remember the teeter totter?  (Some might call them seesaws)  I always loved the rush you got when you pushed up from the ground.  Not so much the hard bump when you came back down again.  I didn’t like playing with my brothers, as their goal was to push and pull so hard as to make me fall off.

I feel a little like being on a teeter totter lately, with this relationship I’m in.  Things are still going strong.  We get along very well and enjoy each other’s company.  But like any relationship — ours is growing and changing with time.

After many years of guarding my heart ……. when do I stop?  When is it ok to not guard so fiercely anymore?  Do I let go a little at a time, like pulling the wrapping paper off gently from a package?  Or do I just totally let go and accept the consequences, like ripping the wrapping paper off in one big pull?  How do I know when that time is? 

I continue forward, still interested in this man and still going through the changes in our relationship.  But I teeter.  And I totter.  One thing about teeter totters, though, if you remember.  They are the most fun…….. when you have the right partner.

Posted September 28, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Musings

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Thinking about the past….. and the future   Leave a comment

The 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks is almost here as I write this.  The 10 year mark is a good time to look back and remember and think about what your life is like since “It” happened.  Whatever “it” you are remembering or celebrating after 10 years.  I remember clearly that day of 9/11/01 and what happened.

Since I am in a relationship (2 months and still going strong!) I am also thinking of the future.  What will it hold?  What will it be like?  Should I invite him for Thanksgiving dinner at the house?  Is it too soon?   Will I still be with him this time next year, or will I look back and remember, as I seem to be doing way too often, who I was with at this time of year — last year? 

I don’t know.  And honestly, I don’t worry about it or think about it too much.  Because I don’t know what the future will bring.  But I do know who holds the future – God does.  And I can trust Him.

Posted September 9, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Christian, Memories, Musings

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Gardens   Leave a comment

What is it about municipal gardens?  I find them so peaceful and restful.  I come away feeling refreshed and relaxed.  Is it the sunshine?  The trees, the grass, the flowers?  The fountain(s)?  Walking around?  The people watching?

For me, yes.  All of those.  I went with my beau (hee hee – great word) to a municipal rose garden on Saturday and it was so enjoyable.  We both took our time; sat when we wanted and walked when we wanted.  It was quite a beautiful and stress-free break to take with someone I care about.  I hope you all can have the same experience, with someone(s) special or by yourself, soon.

Posted August 28, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Memories

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About Searching…..   3 comments

I have been divorced 27 years.  In all that time I’ve wanted to be married again.  And of course, I’ve thought about who my future someone would be.  How tall would he be?  What color hair?  Would he be a good kisser?  What kind of job would he have?  What would he like to do for hobbies?  Football or baseball?  What would his family be like?  And on and on.

And once you really start seriously looking you begin to shorten “the list” and make compromises and decide what is really important to you.  I have always tried to keep an open mind about the qualities of my future someone and have always had a short list.  I’m far from a perfect person and I don’t expect to find someone who is perfect or who fits all my ideals.

I met someone who is the most interesting, intelligent, thoughtful, kind, considerate man I have ever met in my life.  And — he likes me for ME.  Is this man “THE ONE”?  Is my search over?  I don’t honestly know.  There are things we still need to discover and learn about each other and I have found that time has a wonderful way of working those kinds of things out.  The other shoe drops.  An “uh oh” moment occurs.  You meet the family.  Those kinds of things come out over time.  Maybe I’ll discover something (or more than one something) that will cause me to back off and break things off.  Maybe he will. 

I don’t know.  For now what I do know is we are enjoying each other’s company and getting to know each other, and neither of us is in a hurry to move things along too fast.  So I have stopped searching.  Time will tell if the search will be taken up again.

Posted August 20, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Musings

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The Impossible   3 comments

I am convinced I am seeking the impossible.  It has taken me a good three years to come to this conclusion.  No one can accuse me of being tack as a sharp.

What I seek is a man who believes in God, has faith, reads his Bible, and goes to church weekly.  He may fall, stumble, and not be perfect — but he strives to be.  He tries to follow God’s will for him and his life, and tries to be the best man he can and give glory to God in his life.  

I did not think that was asking too much.  I have seen lots of women who have husbands just like the man I described.  Sure, I’m old (52 is old, don’t you think?) but still I believed it was possible.  I have quite a lot to offer and give a husband, and I thought I could find someone who could see that and appreciate it.  I totally believed it was only a matter of time.

Nope.  Apparently not.  Most of the men — the vast majority of the ones I actually “meet” online (via email and/or IM) as well as those whose profiles I read or see on Craigslist  — fall into the “Spiritual but not Religious” crowd.  What?  You say you don’t know what SBNR is?  Well, allow me to educate you.

These are men (talkin’ about men here, though I’m sure women fall into this category also) who believe in God.  Have attended church in the past, have heard the Gospel message.  Perhaps they go to church on Christmas and Easter.  If their mother is alive and asks them to go with her.  They believe there is a God who created everything and sent his only son Jesus to earth as a man to die for our sins.  But they don’t see that it has to make a difference in their life.  They don’t think they need to go to church, even once in a while, let alone weekly.  They don’t crack open their Bible and would be hard pressed to name just three of the Ten Commandments.

SBNR men have faith and belief in the same God I do — but live their lives for themselves.  They do what they want, when they want, how they want without ever praying about it or considering how God would feel about it. 

This is not the kind of man I want to spend the rest of my remaining days with.  And  have been unable to find a true Christian man who is spiritually compatible with me.  I’ve met all kinds of men who are compatible on every other level — but not spiritually. 

I seek the impossible.  I’ll be freakin’ single the rest of my sorry, lonely life.   Man this sucks.

Posted July 16, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Christian, Musings

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Moon Poems   2 comments

Its July again.  Two years ago I was inspired by the full moon (as I often am) and wrote a poem and randomly posted it on Craigslist.  Not to solicit any responses —- I just wanted to share it.  One man wrote back a poem of his own as a response to my poem.  I returned with a poem response.  And for the next two days we wrote, in poem, back and forth to each other.  Whew!  Then we emailed and talked on the phone and exchanged pictures.  Alas!  He had recently ended a marriage and his emotional and financial toll from that were just too much for him to overcome – he didn’t feel he could get involved in a relationship.  That was 2 years ago, and I still think of him.  So Javier G., wherever you are, I hope you are healed and happy and have everything paid off.  These poems were amazing and I still think of you fondly.

My poem starts out:

Almost-full moon
Shining through the clouds
Big and bright, so close
Reflected in the smooth waves
Your light warms the early morning
So lovely
So enchanting
So romantic
Too bad I’m stuck in my car, commuting, alone

The moon is now past full,
and yet it’s beauty will persist.
It’s rays of light sneaking in at night,
to spy upon your sleeping form.
They very well may kiss you,
and make you stir while in your sleep.
A dream perhaps? A memory?

Moonlight through the window
Filtered by the trees
Moonlight to greet me
From the front steps
Standing in the moonlight
Fabric fluttering, feet cold
Was that you who kissed me?
Or was it the moonlight?

The glory and the honor were not mine,
of having placed my lips upon your body.
Mere mortals such as I only wish and dream,
of having such a privilege.
Twas the moon or a spirit of the night,
which has given you such pleasure

 Tossing, turning
Awakened in the dark
I heard a voice
A brush against my cheek
Moon lover
Moon kisser
The light you shine pierces my dreams
Dreams of mortals and dancing
Dreams of sighing and smiling
Contented, I curl alone in warmth

The voice you heard was but a dream,
of which you wish reality.
It made you move while in you sleep,
and yet you felt awakened.
In the morning you then smiled,
at the irony and the loneliness.

When will I sleep again
and meet my moon kisser,
my moon lover?
Will he come this night?
Or will the memories of
his voice and kisses be all
the comfort I will have
in my loneliness?
I sit gazing at the waning moon
and wonder

Just close your eyes and sleep my dear,
and he shall come when not expected.
You may not see or feel his presence,
but he shall be above you.
Looking down upon your beauty,
wishing so to reach and touch your face.

Now I shall sleep
with outstretched arms
waiting to hold my moon lover.
And open my eyes to see him gazing
I smile and beckon him nearer.
He fades away until I see
only moonlight on my ceiling
and just a whisper in my ear
of his voice calling “Beloved”.
I turn my face and go to sleep
and wait
for my moon kisser

Oh dear sweet Lady,
why entice me so?
To think your body so,
laying upon your lair,
has a passion so aroused in me.
I so wish to be the spirit,
stealing through the window.
With my breath, perhaps with lips,
I would your face caress.
and hope to not awaken thee.
For in your dream,
I would the perfect lover be.

Moon lover, moon kisser
your approach must be like moonlight
Slowly waxing
day by day growing
Until the night and all in it know no other
until the night knows only the moon, full and shining bright
To grow too bright
to chase away the darkness too quickly
is to burn out before time
losing the darkness
and everything in it
That waits for the moon
and the promises and kisses and touches
it brings

Should I be like the Moonlight?
Working in silence?
Or like the Sun?
Bringing nature’s music,
and pleasant memories?
O may I be bold enough to be both?
And spend the whole day watching you?

Posted July 3, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Poems

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