Archive for the ‘seasons’ Tag

A Season of Singleness   Leave a comment

I like seasons.  I like the change, the differences, the anticipation of the next season.  Living in California now, we don’t really have seasons.  Oh, people here say there are seasons, but having lived in Washington State for 30+ years, I know what a season in.

I have gone through seasons in my life – have you?  Seasons that were marked by signs, then gradually you get deeper and deeper into the season, then — that anticipated first (or second or third) sign that things are changing.  Being made new. Something was on the horizon.  And being certain it is not the light on the train coming towards you.

I have been in a season of singleness for….. oh!  20+ years.  It was never my intention to stay single this long.  I’ve never liked it.  Well, at times I have. Having sole control of the remote, being able to eat what I want when I want, and not caring if something was picked up or cleaned according to someone else’s schedule: these are all things that I have liked about being single.  But over all, long-term?  Yeah, I have not liked it. 

I’ve had signs.  Little ones.  I feel the differences inside of me, see the changes on the horizon.  I think there may be a change coming up.  Marriage?  Well, God only knows about that.  But change is coming.  A new season will be here — soon?  2011?  Hmmm…. I’ll keep you posted.

Posted March 27, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Christian, Musings

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Fall   Leave a comment

Fall is here.  You can feel it in the air.  Even when it is sunny and warm out, you can feel that…. cool tang.  Like living next to the ocean as I do, there is always a salt tang.  Sometimes strong, depending on how strong the wind is.  But Fall is here and there is a cool frosting on everything.  Sun shine.  Wind.  Walking.  Driving.  Morning, afternoon, and evening.  The cool frosting will deepen and not let go once winter is here. 

Though, “winter” in the northern San Francisco peninsula area is a season held loosely.  I lived in Washington State for 32 years, and we had WINTER up there.  It snowed.  Storms. Ice.  You know – WINTER.  “Winter” here where I live in California means cooler temperatures.  All the natives whimper when it gets below 55 degrees.  I have only been back here two years so I have not acclimated to being a native.

But I was talking about Fall, wasn’t I?  I miss seeing leaves turn color – we don’t get many trees that do that in California.  And the trees don’t lose their leaves until the end of December here.  In Washington almost all the trees were bare by Thanksgiving.  With Fall comes the tang and coolness.  Pumpkins and…… mmmmmmm….. pumpkin pie.  Yum! 

Fall also brings memories of my brother who died in November 2006.  And there is, inevitably, Christmas.  Since my son was killed I have woken up crying on Christmas morning every year.  It sucks.  I have to struggle to bravely put a smiling face to the world, while inside I whimper and cry all day.  One year I spent the whole day of Christmas in my bathrobe, pajamas, and slippers.  I read books the whole entire day, quietly by myself, with my cat next to me.  I cried when I wanted to.  Ate and drank when I wanted.  It was so wonderful. 

But…. as I have found and no doubt others know also…. these things pass.  Life goes on.  I continue to breathe in and out and go from day to day.  And today, I’m going to enjoy the Fall time.  The cool frosting on the warm sunshine and the sparkly ocean lapping against the shore.  And the memories will come, bittersweet, but at least I will know they will pass.

Posted October 9, 2010 by Maureen in Musings

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Sun in my eyes   Leave a comment

The time between the solstice and when daylight savings kicks in is when the sun is most in my eyes, driving in the morning and evening.  The sun is at just the right angle in the morning when I’m on the road to work to hit me square in the eyes as I’m coming up the hill, ready to go over and hit I101.

When there aren’t any clouds in the way, you come around that one corner and WHAMMO!  Right in the eyes a laser beam of red/orange, blinding you to all else.  If I am paying attention and remember, I can quickly avert my eyes to the lines and dots separating the lanes and keep my eyes on that, avoiding swerving into the divider or the other lane, while I am otherwise blinded and can’t see out the main part of the windshield.  Then the road curves again and the sun is blocked and I can check to make sure I have, in fact, not drifted dangerously to either side, and check the cars around me.  When I am not paying attention, that laser beam of sunlight and subsequent panicky visible groping can shoot my blood pressure up pretty high.

And in the evening it never ceases to amaze me the number of people who don’t turn their lights on when the sun is starting to go down.  When there is cloud cover and/or fog (an almost-daily thing where I live) it is astounding the number of people blithely driving in dark or very light cars without their lights.  They simply fade into the evening light and cloud cover, sneaking up on you unexpectedly when you try to change lanes or slow down for traffic.

In the Spring we get to do all of this all over again, except the time change comes before the solstice so the sun blinding me is not as much an issue.  I do like seeing the sun change position with the seasons, and seeing it at different times during the year as I drive to and from work.  I enjoy the full sunrise in the summer, the not-quite sunrise during the winter, the just-sunrise in the Fall.  Always something new to see, and a new view to enjoy, and new sky wonders to praise God for as we change from season to season.

Posted October 4, 2010 by Maureen in Randomness

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Moon Musings   1 comment

I love the moon.  I love to see it in all its phases, but especially when it is full.  I used to have a job where I would start work at 4:00am, and for three years I would search out the moon in the sky as I drove to work.  At that time I was in Washington State, and the sight of the full moon hanging over the Olympic Mountains, on those rare time when there weren’t clouds obscuring it, were truly breath-taking.  I used to have a fancy that the moon watched me from up high and followed me until I got to work.

Last week I drove home from work about almost two hours later than usual.  Consequently I was able to see the sunset and the equinox full moon.

As I drove I could catch glimpses of the western and eastern horizons.  The sun had set, but only just.  The sky was lit up all orange and reds and yellows, and those colors were streaked across the deep blue ocean, smooth all the way to the horizon.  The sky was blue, shading to darker blue up higher. 

In the east, the full moon had risen and was shining bright.  Clouds obscured it at times, chasing each other across its face as it hung in the sky.  The clouds seemed to play peek-a-boo with the moon as it rose slowly in the east.  Sometimes obscuring, sometimes revealing, sometimes drawing back all together to reveal the whole bright shining disk.  The moon continued her dance up and across the sky, seemingly not to notice the play of the clouds, shining brightly through them and always revealing her position.  The colors in the western sky darkened slowly and the blue sky turned slowly, slowly black. 

As I parked in the driveway and got out of the car I took one more look up at the sky, saying goodnight to the moon and thanking the God who made it and set it to its dance for seeing me safely home.

Posted September 29, 2010 by Maureen in Musings

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