Archive for the ‘men’ Tag

Both to Blame   Leave a comment

Here is another story from my dating days.  I was recalling recently a small thing that happened about 7 years ago.  The church I was attending was having a missions dinner.  We were going to have several missionaries and a guest speaker.  It was going to be a dinner and an auction, and I signed up as a helper.  I love missions dinners, and I was looking forward to this one.  You never knew where you might meet someone, right?  And what better place to meet them than at church!

So there was lots of planning and setup, and then the guests started to arrive.  Of course there were lots of people I knew, but some I didn’t know.  There were people arriving and groups would form and then dissolve and new groups would form, while people greeted and met people.

I was standing in a group of men I knew and there was a man I hadn’t met in the group.  He was good looking and he looked to be around my age. so I smiled big and greeted him to the dinner.  I don’t remember exactly what was said, but his reaction caught me totally by surprise.  He said something along the lines of, “I’ll be sitting at a table with others from my church,” which he said to the group of us, looking around, and then looked straight at me and said, “With my WIFE.”  He said the last very forcefully, and loudly.

I was embarrassed.  Embarrassed that I had been that obvious in my interest in him, and embarrassed that he was reacting so strongly to my 3 seconds of interest.  Everyone in the group got a little uncomfortable, and he just kept staring at me intensely.  I excused myself and found some little jobs to do.

I happened to be sitting at a table way across the room from the table he was sitting at.  That wasn’t planned, it just happened that way.  Since I was a helper, there were times during the night I would get up and move around the room.  Every time I did I could feel his intense gaze on me.  It wasn’t a glare, but it was defensive.  It creeped me out a little.  Did he really think I was going to make a move on him or something?   That he was so irresistible that I would go over and flirt with him, with his wife right there?  At church?!  I kept my eyes away from that part of the room.

The evening was fun, the food was good, and the auction was also fun.  One of the things we auctioned off were the centerpieces at each table.  At the end of the auction, the volunteers went around and gathered up the centerpieces.  It happened that I ended up on the side of the room where he was sitting. He kept an eagle eye on me while I was walking around.  He didn’t look at anyone else, he didn’t watch anyone else, he kept his eyes on me.  “Honestly!” I thought.  “Just how big is his ego?”  I went to his table and he leaned over and put his arm around his wife, still not taking his eyes off me.

Without making eye contact with anyone at the table I picked up the centerpiece on the table. He kept leaning to the side with his arm around his wife’s shoulders, watching me.  I walked away and then stayed away from that side of the room during what was left of the night.

So yes – it was quite the ego on him to think I would pursue him after he had clearly told me he had a wife.  And yes – I obviously came on too strong when I said hello to him; I made my interest too well known.  We were both to blame.

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Posted March 30, 2019 by Maureen in Being Single, Musings

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Just ONE Thing   Leave a comment

What would you do if you had met the man of your dreams…. but there was just one thing that made you hesitate?  Or second guess yourself?  Or give you pause?

For instance, what if you met a man (talking men here, since I’m a lady, but the same thing applies to women) who, as you got to know him more and more after dating several months, turned out to be the kind of man you had dreamed about and prayed for and who seemed to match you perfectly.  Terrific, right?  Except….. there was just one thing about him.  Just one, really. 

Not that he was perfect.  Oh, he had his faults and shortcomings.  But then, so do you.  No, the non-perfect things about him were nothing that would be deal breakers.  But….. that one thing.

What would that one thing be for you?

That he ate with his mouth open?

That you couldn’t stand his grown kids?

That his family was a horrible mix of dysfunction, addiction, alcoholism, and incarceration?  AND they lived nearby?

That he sometimes skipped church on Sunday for other things?

That he only bathed twice a week?

That he was unemployed and living on Assistance and Welfare?

That he wanted badly to move to (fill in the blank) but you really did not want to live there?

That he didn’t handle his money well?

That he was not a born-again Christian?

That his health was not good, and was sure to get worse?

That he was a really bad driver?

That your family and friends all liked him…. except for that one thing?

And let us assume that the one thing we are talking about is something that, while possible to change (or improve, or remove) there was very little chance it would ever do so.  Especially since we are talking about a middle-aged man (since I’m a middle-aged woman we will assume that).  Then what?

What would you do?  What is your one thing?

Posted January 14, 2013 by Maureen in Being Single, Musings

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