Archive for the ‘love’ Tag

1 Year   Leave a comment

My husband and I recently had our one year wedding anniversary.  We had been together as a couple for 3 years prior to getting married, so there were not a whole lot of surprises for either of us once we were sharing an apartment together.  Some things I’ve learned about my wonderful husband this past year:

  • He is quickly mollified and happy when I acknowledge when he is right about something.  “You’re right” has probably stopped more arguments between us than anything else.
  • Being disabled and not working, he has developed a different time sense than I have, who has a full time busy job.  Something this works in our favor, and sometimes not.
  • He likes to stretch himself.  He likes to cook something he’s never cooked before.  He likes to try new cooking gadgets. He likes to learn new things.  He likes to listen to new viewpoints.
  • He is not afraid to test himself and push himself physically, despite his disabilities.

Some things I think my husband has learned about me:

  • I’m far from perfect, and sometimes I get cranky or impatient or forgetful (or, heaven forbid, all three).
  • When I have the time and resources, I blossom when I can do creative things.
  • My faith is as integral to me as my circulatory system, hair color, and skin color.
  • I love to laugh at silly things and clever things.

We are just as in love now as when we got married.  We work very well together, we compliment each other in personalities, we respect each other, and we try every day to make the other person’s life better and more comfortable.  I thank God that we are together.

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Posted January 31, 2016 by Maureen in Christian, Musings

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Never Ending   1 comment

My only son was killed 15 years ago.  It was devastating for me, and I plunged into two years of deep emotional shock.  It was only by the grace and love of God that I was able to get through it and come out of my shock slowly.

Every year, around his birthday and the anniversary of the day of his death, I have had problems.  I get so sad.  I get very emotional.  I feel myself slipping into shock and grief again.  It has been overwhelming at time, and feels never ending.  I just don’t want to feel this way. I want to remember my son and his life without all the sadness and loss and grief.

But it seems I am destined to feel this way.  I get through it every year, twice a year, but it is never pleasant.  It has gotten a bit better every year (I used to have to take days off to be by myself), but all the feelings come back year after year.  I have not thought of anything to “do” with the feelings and loss.  Perhaps that is why they keep coming back.

My husband has never wanted children, and has none of his own.  I told him about my son being killed early in our relationship, and he is one of the few people I can talk to about it, and even if I cry and even if he doesn’t understand from the perspective of a parent — he has always been supportive and he feels comfortable talking about it with me, and can even bring my son into casual conversation.

This year, perhaps because it is the 15th anniversary, and 15 is kind of a milestone, I had more problems than usual.  My husband sent me an email, part of which is quoted below.  I love my husband so much, and thank God for him.

“I know that you know how much I love you, and that I am here for you. But I also want you to know that I will be thinking of John as well as you, because he helped make you into the woman I love so much.”

 

Posted September 26, 2015 by Maureen in Christian, Musings

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ADJUSTMENTS   Leave a comment

My husband has several long-term chronic health problems.  He has developed two more since we started dating (we just had our 4th anniversary!).  The latest one started 10 months ago.

I knew well before I married him that his chronic health problems would only worsen.  Aside from a miracle healing from God, one thing or the other would finally kill him in the end.  We had expected things to start worsening 3-5 years from now.

We did not expect them to worsen immediately after we married.  It has been an adjustment for us.  Gradually, I have to take over all the duties.  Cooking and cleaning and taking care of him and our cat.  He has to stay close to home, or not go too far from it.  Going on a honeymoon is out the question.  Even going away for the weekend is out of the question.  I have a big family gathering coming up soon at a cousin’s house, and we don’t think he will be able to go to that.

We have talked about it a lot, and continue to talk about it.  Neither of us is very happy with this development, but we strive to adjust as best we can.

Life never really turns out the way you want it, or plan for it, or think it will, does it?  God alone is eternal and never-changing.  THIS is something to count on.

Posted July 6, 2015 by Maureen in Christian, Randomness

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Not Surprised   Leave a comment

I’ve been hearing about how remarkable in American History the past week has been.  As heart-breaking as I think the Supreme Court decision was to me, I have to agree.

God was not surprised by what happened last week.  He didn’t say, “Whoops!  Didn’t see that one coming!”  And the thing is (and I am quoting someone else here) — Love Wins.  Love has already won.

You have no doubt heard talk about how we should hate the sin and love the sinner. Others have turned that around and insist no one has any right to judge anyone and if you don’t fully agree with me well, then, you are a hater.

To God, all sin is sin.  Stealing is sin.  We should be against stealing.  Adultery is a sin.  We should be against adultery, and not do it ourselves.  Idolatry is sin, and we should not have any idols.  Lying, coveting, drunkenness and swindling are all sins.  Homosexuality is a sin.

Jesus loved the sinner and yet he recognized their sins and knew they were wrong.  He didn’t dance around it – he simply acknowledged they were sinning.  And he loved them anyway.  Sat down at a table for a meal for them.  Went into their homes, walked with them along the road.

We don’t have to hate.  We can readily acknowledge the person is a sinner.  Has sinned, is sinning.  Guess what?  So do I!  So am I.  I am a sinner — the only difference is I am saved by grace.  There is no hate there, there is only acknowledgement and recognition.  And the love and grace of God that is open to everyone.

Love wins!

Posted June 29, 2015 by Maureen in Christian

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Lessons Learned as a Newlywed   Leave a comment

My husband and I had been together 3 ½ years before we got married.  I thought I knew him very well.  We had experienced a lot together in those years – good and bad.  Our relationship had gone through all kinds of changes, and weathered storms.  I knew that I knew that I knew I wanted to marry this man and be his wife the rest of our lives.  I was certain I knew him well.

And yet – after we were married I found out some things I had not known about him.

I had no idea he would make that particular sound when a heavy piece of glass got accidentally dropped on his foot.

I had no idea he was good at putting together things like a 4-shelf stand from Ikea.  Make that anything from Ikea.  He has way more patience than I in doing that stuff – and he follows the directions!

I didn’t know he got distracted so easily while unpacking.  He does not work, so he is home most of the day every day, and when I come home I am invariably faced with pieces of projects in the dining room, living room, and library.  Sometimes also down the hall.

I didn’t know he wouldn’t mind (heck – he asked me!) me rearranging his whole dresser.  Refolding clothes, reorganizing, sorting.

I didn’t know he would be so protective of me enjoying at least part of the weekend.  He actively seeks to get me to relax and not unpack or search for things or clean or organize or shop.  He wants me to be able to enjoy the weekend, after working all week.

The lessons I’ve learned from these revelations are: You are never too old to learn something new.  And – people can still surprise and even delight you even after you know them well.

Posted April 13, 2015 by Maureen in Musings

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Busy Time of Year   Leave a comment

I am getting over a cold.  I’m at the nagging cough/still blowing my nose stage.  Still just a bit “sick”, but recovering.  I am also super super busy at work.  I started a new job (same place, different position) in September and previously this had been one of my quiet times.  Nope – not anymore.  I am busier than a one-armed paper hanger.

But – I do have my Christmas shopping done.  (Please don’t hate me)  I had to get it done Thanksgiving weekend – I just didn’t have time otherwise.

Last weekend my sweetheart and I took a long-anticipated dinner out to a very expensive, Michelin-rated restaurant to celebrate out future life together.  I bought a dress and new shoes.  He had been there before (when he had a job making lots of money) but I had never been.  As each delicious plate or bowl was brought to us, we feasted slowly, savoring all the flavors and spices.  Then our main course was brought (a shared bone-in rib eye steak) and we went silent, savoring the seasoned meat that seemed to melt in our mouths.  I smiled, watching him, as he closed his eyes and chewed, enjoying every mouthful.

“Normally, I would say to someone, ‘Kill me now – I can die happy now that I’ve had this meal'”, my sweetheart said to me.  “But now I know that I won’t truly be happy until we are married.”

It was the perfect highlight to that evening.

Blessings on you as you go through this busy time.  Remember the joy.  Joy that did not depend on circumstances or personal situations.  Remember how heaven rejoiced at the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Posted December 10, 2014 by Maureen in Being Single, Christian, DIY

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Engaged   Leave a comment

It is official.  We picked out my rings 2 weeks ago, but I am now officially proposed to, and engaged to be married.  He wanted to wait to find the right words to say before he gave me the ring.

My honey and I were getting ready to go out to do some errands a few days ago.  I was going down the list with him:

“Do you have your sunglasses?”

“Right here in my pocket”

“Ok – you have your cane – where is your tea?”

“Got it”

“Do you have the list?”

“Yes – in my wallet”

And then we were ready and all of a sudden he said, “No – we forgot something important!”

“What?”

“Something really important!”  and he started a frantic search in his pockets.

“What!?” I exclaimed, not understanding what could have been forgotten to be so important.  And then he pulled out the little box with the ring in it.

I won’t share what he said because it was pretty personal, but it was really sweet and sentimental and was heart-felt.  I also shared some very sentimental and heart-felt words with him, and I said “Yes”.

We haven’t set a date yet, but it will be sometime next year and we will be eloping.  I feel very blessed by God that He brought to me someone who I love and respect, who is truly my partner.  A man who is my cheerleader and my protector; a man who is not perfect but who loves me, who is also not very perfect at all.

Posted November 18, 2014 by Maureen in Memories

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