Archive for the ‘lonely’ Tag

The Impossible   3 comments

I am convinced I am seeking the impossible.  It has taken me a good three years to come to this conclusion.  No one can accuse me of being tack as a sharp.

What I seek is a man who believes in God, has faith, reads his Bible, and goes to church weekly.  He may fall, stumble, and not be perfect — but he strives to be.  He tries to follow God’s will for him and his life, and tries to be the best man he can and give glory to God in his life.  

I did not think that was asking too much.  I have seen lots of women who have husbands just like the man I described.  Sure, I’m old (52 is old, don’t you think?) but still I believed it was possible.  I have quite a lot to offer and give a husband, and I thought I could find someone who could see that and appreciate it.  I totally believed it was only a matter of time.

Nope.  Apparently not.  Most of the men — the vast majority of the ones I actually “meet” online (via email and/or IM) as well as those whose profiles I read or see on Craigslist  — fall into the “Spiritual but not Religious” crowd.  What?  You say you don’t know what SBNR is?  Well, allow me to educate you.

These are men (talkin’ about men here, though I’m sure women fall into this category also) who believe in God.  Have attended church in the past, have heard the Gospel message.  Perhaps they go to church on Christmas and Easter.  If their mother is alive and asks them to go with her.  They believe there is a God who created everything and sent his only son Jesus to earth as a man to die for our sins.  But they don’t see that it has to make a difference in their life.  They don’t think they need to go to church, even once in a while, let alone weekly.  They don’t crack open their Bible and would be hard pressed to name just three of the Ten Commandments.

SBNR men have faith and belief in the same God I do — but live their lives for themselves.  They do what they want, when they want, how they want without ever praying about it or considering how God would feel about it. 

This is not the kind of man I want to spend the rest of my remaining days with.  And  have been unable to find a true Christian man who is spiritually compatible with me.  I’ve met all kinds of men who are compatible on every other level — but not spiritually. 

I seek the impossible.  I’ll be freakin’ single the rest of my sorry, lonely life.   Man this sucks.

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Posted July 16, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Christian, Musings

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Weekends – Good or Bad?   Leave a comment

Weekends are not really a single gal’s friend.  At least not this single gal.  Oh, Saturdays I can stay busy.  Housework, I used to do homework (YEAH!  I’m graduated!), grocery shopping, errands.  Sunday mornings are filled with Sunday School and church service. 

But I have to plan my weekends ahead of time.  Plan things to do.  Even make lists.  Because the weekends can be lonely.  Even living with my sister and nephew and two cats as I do, I can get lonely without a husband.  So I write things down to do.  I plan Fun! Things! to do — try to generate excitement about them during the week.  “Come on!  You’ll have fun doing that!”  “Won’t that be great to try?”  “You know you’ll like it!” 

And then when it comes right down to it……. I almost always don’t.  Because I dislike having to do it alone.  Now, sleeping in is great.  Weekends are terrific for that.  Especially on days like today when I can naturally fall back asleep for another hour to an hour and a half and wake up in full sunlight.  Aaaahhhhhh…….  To lay in bed snug and warm, knowing I don’t have to get up and DO something.  I love that.

For me, Sunday afternoons are the worse.  I love teaching Sunday School and it never fails to excite me and stimulate me, teaching 3rd – 5th graders.  Then service, where I can sing and greet my friends and say hello to new people and hear the message.  It is lonely sitting alone, but I’m also used to it and it does not distract from my pleasure at being in church with God’s people, singing His praises and learning more about Him.  But then I go home.  And the afternoon and evening s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-s before me.  It is very hard for me to be motivated to do anything of consequence after church, the let down is so strong.  So I struggle with that every week.  Sometimes I allow myself to feel down, and just make a nest on the couch.  I’ll turn on the TV sometimes, or read a book.  But other times I’ll try to shake it off and do at least a little something around the house – there is always something to do.  Or some project to work on. 

Weekends, yeah.  Love not having to work.  Love sleeping in.  Don’t love the lonelinesss.

Posted October 2, 2010 by Maureen in Being Single

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