Archive for the ‘lessons’ Tag

Lessons from Relationships   1 comment

I got married when I was 20 years old and he was 25.  Sadly, I was divorced by the time I was 25.  Before I got married I had ideas in my mind about what love was, and what being married was like. 

The reality was nothing like any of my ideas.  Here are some things I have learned about relationships 

  •  Relationships change over time.  You don’t establish a relationship then dust your hands together and say “Done!  Accomplished!”  Relationships are living organisms that need to be fed and nurtured
  • Relationships are nothing like what you read about in the romance novels, or what you (mostly) see in movies or on the TV.
  • Just because someone asks you to marry them does not mean you have to say “Yes”.
  • Just because you think (or even if you feel very very sure) you are in love with someone, it does not mean you have to marry that person. 
  • Relationships have ebbs and flows, high points and low points.  Just because you might be in an ebb or low point does not mean you have to toss the whole relationship.
  • Don’t compare yourself to other couples, or hold yourself to others standards.  Each relationship is a bit different.
  • Communication is key, and you need to find the kind of communication that will work for you as a couple.

Now maybe you knew all that.  But I can assure you – I had NO idea of any of this before I got married, or got involved in a long-term relationship.  I wish I had had someone to tell me these things.  Remember, I got married in the dark ages, before the internet was what it was today.  

What about you?  What relationship lessons have you learned that you wish you had known ahead of time?

 

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Posted August 20, 2013 by Maureen in Being Single, Memories

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I Heart Rock   2 comments

During a trip to southern California recently I was walking along a beach just south of Malibu with some family members, and I found this rock.  I originally gave it to my niece because she had gotten married a couple of years ago, but she gave it to me to take home.

The more I look at this rock the more lessons/analogies I can draw from it.  Now, I really like rocks.  I mean I notice rocks wherever I go.  I look for them on the ground.  I love climbing them.  I love having them in the yard, even on my desk at work.  A dream of mine would be to have a big rock (about 4 feet high) in the yard, with some rough steps carved on one side, a small flat place at the top, and the other side would be sloped and smoothed and carved to be a slide.  How cool would that be to have in your yard, huh??

So it was not a surprise my eyes spotted this rock, nor that I would be drawn to it.  Some of the things I’ve noticed about this rock:

It is, of course, heart-shaped.  Not smooth and clean with perfect, symmetrical sides.  But still noticeably heart-shaped.

It is hard (duh-it’s a rock), but it is smooth.

Picking it up it fills my hand – it is not small.

Looking at it, turning it over, you notice interesting patterns and worn spots.

It has been through rough times, because the edges and sides are smooth. Yet it has endured.

It has seen trauma – something broke it to make that heart-shape.  But it has endured. It continues.

I found it on the beach, which means it tumbled from a hillside or washed up from the ocean.  Which means it has traveled, probably being tossed and turned and rolled and squished in the process.  But it has endured.

It was a blessing for me to find this rock.  Thank you, God, for rocks.  And the enjoyment we can get from them, their usefulness, and lessons we can learn.

Posted June 26, 2011 by Maureen in Musings, Randomness

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