Archive for the ‘husband’ Tag

1 Year   Leave a comment

My husband and I recently had our one year wedding anniversary.  We had been together as a couple for 3 years prior to getting married, so there were not a whole lot of surprises for either of us once we were sharing an apartment together.  Some things I’ve learned about my wonderful husband this past year:

  • He is quickly mollified and happy when I acknowledge when he is right about something.  “You’re right” has probably stopped more arguments between us than anything else.
  • Being disabled and not working, he has developed a different time sense than I have, who has a full time busy job.  Something this works in our favor, and sometimes not.
  • He likes to stretch himself.  He likes to cook something he’s never cooked before.  He likes to try new cooking gadgets. He likes to learn new things.  He likes to listen to new viewpoints.
  • He is not afraid to test himself and push himself physically, despite his disabilities.

Some things I think my husband has learned about me:

  • I’m far from perfect, and sometimes I get cranky or impatient or forgetful (or, heaven forbid, all three).
  • When I have the time and resources, I blossom when I can do creative things.
  • My faith is as integral to me as my circulatory system, hair color, and skin color.
  • I love to laugh at silly things and clever things.

We are just as in love now as when we got married.  We work very well together, we compliment each other in personalities, we respect each other, and we try every day to make the other person’s life better and more comfortable.  I thank God that we are together.

Posted January 31, 2016 by Maureen in Christian, Musings

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Today ….. and the future   Leave a comment

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately praying about 1) my future, 2) how I can bring people to Christ, and 3) how God wants to use the gifts and talents He gave me for his Glory.

I’ve been asking God if I should go back to teaching Sunday School or assisting in Children’s Ministries.  The church I attend now has a strong leader and seems to have enough teachers.  I have not gotten the impression that they need children’s workers, even though I know from past experience any children’s ministry always needs people.

What I keep getting back from God, it seems to me, is that I am to wait.  Right now, I believe God is telling me, my job for Him is to concentrate on being a wife to my husband.  Since that is something I love to do, I am happy to continue doing it.

I don’t remember where it is but somewhere in the Old Testament (Leviticus?) it talks about some guidelines for when men were to be part of the army. One of the exceptions listed is if a man is newly married.  The guideline is for him to take that first year off and be a husband – enjoy that time together, build the relationship, and no doubt make a baby.  Then he can go off to war.

I feel like that is me at this point.  I am to take this first year off.  Concentrate on being a wife and build our relationship.  (There will be no babies, no.  We are both too old for that and neither of us wants a baby. )

I don’t know what will happen after next January.  I don’t know if God wants me back in Children’s Ministries.  Or, if there is something else for me.  In the meantime, I am continuing to pray, and to listen for God’s direction.

Posted October 27, 2015 by Maureen in Uncategorized

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You HAVE it – USE it!   Leave a comment

Being a middle-aged single lady and a Christian, I have heard variations on the advice “how to get married”, or “how to meet the RIGHT man” a number of times.  Almost always it will be a Christian man or woman telling the story of how they met their husband or wife, and advocating that the way it happened for them is the RIGHT way, and/or the ONLY way. 

I don’t mind getting advice.  I like hearing what other people think, and I often see things in a different light or my mind is opened to things I hadn’t considered.  I do listen with much caution, however, when people try to tell me theirs is the RIGHT way or the ONLY way to find a husband.   I know someone who repeats on a regular basis, “Oh –I’ve had four kids…. I KNOW!”  or “Oh, trust me, I’ve had four kids, and I KNOW”.  The only thing that person KNOWS is her four kids.  She does not KNOW any other kids. 

Let me tell you the true story of two single people.  The first is a young man, in his early 30’s.  For personal, business, and family reasons he lives in a small town in the mid west and has all his life.  He has been a faithful church attender and participator for years.  He really, truly, wants to get married and share his life with a woman, and yet there is no one in his church or hometown whom he has connected with and felt that God was calling them together.  His family condemns him (literally) because he is in his 30’s and not married.  They steadfastly maintain that he has hidden sin in his life, that he isn’t living the life God wants for him, because he is not married.  Though they see him daily and it is a small town so everyone knows about everyone else, they still maintain he must be a sinner because he isn’t married by now.  He has been searching on Christian dating web sites, meeting online ladies around the country, trying to find a wife.

The second single person is a middle-aged lady. She is a good Christian who is part of a good church.  She attends regularly, teaches Sunday School, and participates in other groups and activities of the church.  She prays and reads her Bible regularly.  She lives in an area of the country that, while it is heavily populated, has few truly Christian single in her age bracket.  And, there is not one single man in her church that God has lead her to.  There are fine single men, just none that are close to her age that she is interested in.  She has been searching on Christian dating web sites, meeting men from around the country, trying to find a husband.  Her family finds her strange that she searches for a husband on the internet, and her friends think she is being reckless to do so.

One aspect of Christian advice for FINDING YOUR MATE goes something like this:  If you believe that Jesus is your savior, if you read your Bible regularly and pray, if you not only attend church but participate in the teaching and ministries of the church —- well then, just sit back and wait, ‘cause God is going to send your knight in shining armor or your beautiful princess to you.  Just wait!  It will happen!

Now of course I’m using a bit of hyperbole to describe that advice I have heard in various forms over the years.  But what I don’t understand about this advice is, where in the Bible does it say that as Christians we sit passively by and wait for God to bring us our mate?  Don’t get me wrong – I agree with everything in the previous paragraph about having Jesus as your savior, reading your Bible, praying, being a member of a church and participating in that church’s ministries.  I absolutely believe every Christian should do all those things.  The part I have a problem with is the sitting and waiting.  Reallly?

I don’t believe God created us to be passive.  I don’t believe God created us to not use our arms and legs, our minds and our mouths, our gifts and our talents.  God created us with all those things and more – He wants us to USE them.  Of course as Christians we need always to use what God has given us with prayer and asking God for wisdom and discernment.  We should not be flying off here and there, trying to “help” God, or thinking we know just what God wants us to do or be —- without praying about it, and asking God for His wisdom and discernment.  God wants us to use the things He created in us and made us to be, but He wants us to do that for His glory and praise, and in His wisdom.  That, my friends, in my opinion, is the ONLY RIGHT WAY.

So, what do you think?   What would you do if one of those people I talked about was you?

Posted September 14, 2012 by Maureen in Being Single, Christian

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Husband? Or Dog?   1 comment

I really don’t like being single.  It was never my intention to be single most of my life.  I miss a lot of things about not being married.  I have also really missed having a dog in my life.  My little sister moved to Oregon and took her dogs with her, and no one else in the family has dogs.  I need my doggy fix! I have had a pet for the past 20+ years, but the last time I had a dog I was living with my parents. 

I have had such a hard time finding a suitable man who is husband material.  So the question is: should I keep looking, or get a dog?

A question I always have when making decisions is: Is this God’s will for me?  Will it honor God?  I want to stay on the path of God’s will for my life.  I don’t want to stray, and I don’t want to try to “help” God by doing something I think might be right but actually hinders His plan for me.  So while I would like a husband or a dog (both?  hmmmmm) I am still searching on what would keep me in God’s will. 

I am searching for both.  To hedge my bet?  Well, no.  I seach for both while praying about it and going slowly so that I can better discern God’s will.  If I wanted to be married I could have been a long time ago.  I wouldn’t have been happy or in God’s will, but I would have been married.  I could have had several dogs by now if I just wanted a dog.  But having a dog that does not get along with small children (my great-nephew is 3) or cats (there are 2 in the house) would only make my life miserable.

So…… the search continues.  Husband?  Or Dog?  Which will I find first?  I don’t even dare to think I might find one and then the other, or both together.  That would be just too wonderful to contemplate.

Posted April 11, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Christian

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