Archive for the ‘family’ Tag

IMPOSTOR   Leave a comment

I feel like an impostor.  Or a fake.

Thanksgiving weekend has always been a big family weekend for us.  As many as can travel from a tri-state area to spend three days together.  Eating, playing, talking, eating, doing activities.  Eating.  This year I was not looking forward to it.  I am not looking forward to my “first” holiday season without my husband.  I didn’t want the sympathetic looks and the “How ARE you’s” from well-meaning family members.  So many emotions all mashed and roiled around together.

It actually wasn’t too bad.  The distractions of the three days helped a lot I found.  And it was good to see family, to catch up on what everyone is doing (and, at our age, the latest health bulletins).  My niece’s son and daughter are at an especially adorable age and they were clearly having a terrific time with the plethora of cousins and Aunts, Uncles, Great Aunts, and Great Uncles.

I talked and laughed with everyone else.  And felt like an impostor.  I could laugh, but I couldn’t sustain the happy feeling.  I could enjoy activities for a short while, but then I would just watch.  When we saw our cousins they asked after me and time and again I saw “the look”.  This is the look that comes over their face when they have asked after my job and gotten updated and then …. they don’t know what to say.  They can’t ask about Randy since he is gone.  They don’t want to ask how I am since that can bring up strong emotions.  So they falter, and the conversation peters out.   I just waited, giving them a few second, and I would jump in and change the subject or start talking about something else.

And I felt like a fake.  I was totally faking being okay and that I was getting along just fine.  I was an impostor this past weekend.  I wonder how many people I fooled?

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Posted November 27, 2016 by Maureen in Married Musings, Memories

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Thankful   Leave a comment

Thursday is Thanksgiving here in the U.S., and it is traditionally a day for getting together with family and eating a lot.  Perhaps watching football.  Thanksgiving has always been a big family weekend for our family.  We get together, as many of us as possible, and spend the weekend together.

This year we will be missing a bunch of people, but those who can will gather and have a traditional turkey feast and then spend two days having fun together doing various things.

I am thankful for that.  I am thankful that I have most of my family still alive, and that they all live on the west coast.  I am thankful that, by and large, we are all healthy.

And I am thankful for my Lord and Savior.  Thank you, God, for your blessings this year. I may not have been as appreciative as you would have liked me to be with the “challenges” you have given me, but I am thankful that you were always right there with me.  Thank you for saving me from my lost life.

What are you thankful for this year?

 

Posted November 26, 2013 by Maureen in Musings

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Blanket Bling   2 comments

My sister bought a panel to make a blanket for her grandson (my great-nephew) for his naps at day care.  She asked me to add some embroidery bling to it.  I’ve been toiling away at it all week.  Not really – embroidery is very relaxing.

I used only a few stitches.  This blanket will be used daily and washed, so the stitches had to be sturdy and stand up to wear.  I used back-stitch and a bit of satin stitch.  Some french knots for accents.  The umbrella is done in long and short.  I also used enroaching stem stitch a lot.  It looks nice, and stands up well to wear and tear.  The egg has whipped running stitch and couching stitches.  I also added accents to the pre-printed designs, such as the insect.  You may not be able to see all the details, but here is a sample of what I did.

U is for.... umbrella W is for.... watermelon

 
 

O is for... octopus and H is for... house

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

S is for..... sun and K is for... key

 

T is for.... tie and L is for.... ladder

Z is for... zipper and E is for.... egg

Posted October 30, 2011 by Maureen in Art (if you wanna call it that), DIY

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What Does Love Look Like?   Leave a comment

The dinner where my boyfriend met some of my siblings went …………… really well.  Great food (even if I do say so myself) and everyone got along well.  He really enjoyed himself, and everyone liked him.

I asked a girlfriend recently how I could know when it was the right time to give my whole heart.  How could I know someone was “the one”?  How can I be sure I’m in love?

She said you couldn’t hold back due to doubts or thinking about it too much.  You just had to plunge forward.  Yikes!  A person could really get hurt doing that!  A person could also get really hurt holding back and not making a commitment.  Singleness is no refuge from hurt, nor is a relationship, nor is marriage.

What does love look like?  I think it looks very ordinary and everyday.  Laundry and grocery lists and what brand of toothpaste to buy and daily ups and downs.  Except when it looks like fireworks going off over a small cloth-covered table bathed in candlelight with a sumptuous meal and two people playing footsie under the table, laughing and talking together.

Posted October 18, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single, Musings

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Cue Dramatic Music   Leave a comment

I’m having my boyfriend meet some of my siblings this weekend.  The last time I had a boy friend meet my family was….. in 1978.  Yup – not kidding.

He’s not at all nervous, and neither am I.  It is just time that I get other people’s opinions of this great man I’ve met.  Will they think he’s as wonderful as I do, even with his his flaws (and mine)?  We’ll see.

Posted October 13, 2011 by Maureen in Being Single

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