Sometimes I Just Give Up   Leave a comment

SOMETIMES I JUST GIVE UP

Poor widow, her husband died.

Lots of prayers and cards and visits and meals.

A memorial service, phone calls, emails, condolences.

 

Empty house, empty bed, empty heart.

Keep busy, widow.

Keep working, take care of yourself,

do the shopping, cooking, cleaning …

all by yourself.

Keep busy, widow.

Go outside, talk to people, go to church,

do your hobbies, reconnect with friends,

pet the cats, feed the cats, groom the cats,

do your job; stay busy, busy, busy.

 

Sometimes … I just give up.

It is just too hard to maintain the façade.

I can’t do it.  The grief, the loss is just

too overwhelming.

 

Sometimes … I just give up.

I stay home.  Don’t drive.  Don’t talk to anyone.

I stay in my PJs.  I cry, and cry, and cry.

I go back to bed.  I immerse myself in a book

or a TV show or stupid computer games;

anything, anything so I don’t have to think

about how much I desperately miss my most

wonderful husband.

 

Sometimes … I just give up.

I get so tired of people saying I’m strong.

No, I am NOT strong!

I don’t know what you see, but you

don’t see me if you think I am strong.

My only strength, my only source, is my Lord

God Almighty.  I can do nothing without Him.

 

He wants me to stay, He wants me to carry on.

He wants me to work as if I’m working for Him,

and shine my light for Him and be the best

person I can, for Him.

But sometimes … I just give up.

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Posted July 17, 2016 by Maureen in Musings, Poems

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