Archive for June 2016

MOONLIGHT   Leave a comment

I’ve been struggling with grief lately, but I don’t want to bore anyone with that again.  Instead, inspired again by a full moon, I wrote a poem.

I awoke.  What wakened me?

There was light from the windows

where there should be no light.

 

Rising, I wandered.

I went from window to window,

the light leading me on.

 

Where was it coming from?

What did it mean?

What made that light streaming in?

 

At last – I could see past the trees and houses

to the full moon hanging in the night sky.

 

Ah, moon!  You woke me up with your

shining moonlight.  You invaded my sleep

and opened my eyes

so I could stand and look up at you

shining, glowing in the heavens.

 

How I love the full moon!

A reminder, placed there by God,

that He loves us and watches over us

even when we sleep.

 

Contented, I returned to my bed

To lay down and dream in moonlight.

Posted June 23, 2016 by Maureen in Musings, Poems, Uncategorized

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Friday   Leave a comment

I don’t watch any news programs on TV.   I much prefer reading the news on the internet or the old fashioned way — in an actual newspaper.  Using either of those methods, I can pick and choose what I want to read.  I can read as much or as little as I want.  AND there are no commercials, since I can easily skip the ads.  A news program on the TV doesn’t offer me those choices.

The news from Orlando about the gunman who killed all those poor people has really been on my mind. It was so painful that it took me several days to get all the information on it.  The horror and violence of it was just too overwhelming for me to read too much about it at a time.  I feel for those people who got injured, and for everyone’s families.

Why?  Why?  Why?  I can’t help but ask myself.  Why did the gunman do it?  Why would he do it?  I don’t understand.  I can’t comprehend.  It is beyond my intellectual capabilities.  I wish I could do something for those folks, for the families, for the first responders, for the gunman’s family.

Lord, help us not forget those injured, and the families of the injured and killed.

Posted June 17, 2016 by Maureen in Uncategorized

UNEXPECTED   Leave a comment

I have good days and bad days.  On my bad days I have crying spells and am sad a lot.  On my good days, while the tears are always right there behind my eyelids, I can laugh and go through life with the joy of the Lord in my heart.

Since my husband passed, I have see-sawed back and forth between good and bad days; sometimes even in the same day.  Such is grief.  It takes as long as it takes, and happens when it happens.

Sometimes something unexpected will trigger it.  Of course you never know what will trigger a grief storm.  This week I tried to cancel my husband’s cell phone.  The carrier refused to transfer the remaining balance I owed on the phone (iPhone 5s) to my account, instead saying I had to pay the full remaining amount due as soon as the phone was cancelled.  I explained the circumstances.  No sympathy.  It was in the contract I signed, and therefore I had no other recourse but to pay the full amount remaining.

I don’t know why, but this started me crying.  I guess I felt like someone had kicked me when I was down.  I was turning the phone back in – they could have it.  Why did I have to finish paying it off?  Oh no, ma’am I was told.  You can do what you like with the phone, but you have to pay what is remaining.  That was the contract you signed.  They wouldn’t even let me pay off the remaining balance a little at a time by transferring it to my account.

The person I talked to seemed (to me anyway) so gleeful and happy that they had me between a rock and a hard place. There was no other recourse; there was no other way I could handle this, except to pay the full amount.  No breaks, no mercy, no exception.  Nope – they had everything their way, and had stacked the deck fully in their favor, and so I had to pay.

Do I have to say that I don’t have that money?  So now I have to keep paying for another year until the phone is all the way paid off.  Only then can I cancel the service.  In the meantime, I will be paying twice as much as I should or could be —– all because my carrier gleefully wants every single cent of their money and they don’t give a fig that my husband has died and I don’t need or want the phone anymore.

I cried the rest of the night and into the next day. Thanks, cell phone carrier, for kicking a widow when she was already down.  Thanks for not giving her even a single little break.  Thanks for being so greedy and hard-hearted.  And yes, that was all said with dripping sarcasm.  Once the phone is paid off I am switching carriers.

Posted June 10, 2016 by Maureen in Uncategorized