PROGRESS ?   Leave a comment

I’m not sure if you could call this progress.  Moving forward maybe.  Positive movement might even be a better, more accurate phrase.

I have to downsize.  Without my husband’s income I can’t continue living where I am, I have to move to a place that is smaller.  This will be the THIRD TIME I’ve had to downsize in the past eight years.  Before I got married last year I had gotten rid of literally over half the things I owned. Then we got married and we bought a lot of things together. New dishes. New silverware.  New pots and pans. Rugs.  Bookcases.

And now I have to get rid of at least 1/3 of all that.  The first two weeks after Randy passed away it was so sad and depressing for me to even think about getting rid of this stuff.  I was mad and upset and sad that I had to downsize.  AGAIN.

Eventually, after most of the emotions had passed, I was able to talk to God about it.  A lot, actually.  And I finally received His peace.  It was there all along, waiting for me.  But I had to come to that point where I accepted it.

So I have been packing, and hauling boxes to Goodwill.  Then I pack some more, and make another trip.  I have sold some things, and given away some things.  And you know what?  I feel better. So I asked myself: “Self, why do you feel better?”  And I think it is because I do not feel like a helpless victim of my circumstances. Rather, I am taking responsibility and doing something about my situation.  I am taking positive steps to making my life better and live somewhere I can afford.

And in the meantime, I have been able to bless people with what I gave away and what I have sold.  I have had to make tough choices on what to give away, but I am keeping all the things that 1) I need and 2) are important to me.  Not only that, but the $4,500 or so in debt I found out I was in from unpaid bills is almost totally taken care of.  And that, people, is GOD.  No other way to explain all the events that had to take place, all the things that had to fall into place, so that all that debt would be paid.

Thank you, God, for being patient with me.  I don’t know how you do it, but I am glad you do. Thank you for being my provider, my rock, my fortress, my very foundation.  To you be all glory and honor and praise.

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Posted May 10, 2016 by Maureen in Christian, Married Musings, Uncategorized

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