Archive for May 2016

PROGRESS ?   Leave a comment

I’m not sure if you could call this progress.  Moving forward maybe.  Positive movement might even be a better, more accurate phrase.

I have to downsize.  Without my husband’s income I can’t continue living where I am, I have to move to a place that is smaller.  This will be the THIRD TIME I’ve had to downsize in the past eight years.  Before I got married last year I had gotten rid of literally over half the things I owned. Then we got married and we bought a lot of things together. New dishes. New silverware.  New pots and pans. Rugs.  Bookcases.

And now I have to get rid of at least 1/3 of all that.  The first two weeks after Randy passed away it was so sad and depressing for me to even think about getting rid of this stuff.  I was mad and upset and sad that I had to downsize.  AGAIN.

Eventually, after most of the emotions had passed, I was able to talk to God about it.  A lot, actually.  And I finally received His peace.  It was there all along, waiting for me.  But I had to come to that point where I accepted it.

So I have been packing, and hauling boxes to Goodwill.  Then I pack some more, and make another trip.  I have sold some things, and given away some things.  And you know what?  I feel better. So I asked myself: “Self, why do you feel better?”  And I think it is because I do not feel like a helpless victim of my circumstances. Rather, I am taking responsibility and doing something about my situation.  I am taking positive steps to making my life better and live somewhere I can afford.

And in the meantime, I have been able to bless people with what I gave away and what I have sold.  I have had to make tough choices on what to give away, but I am keeping all the things that 1) I need and 2) are important to me.  Not only that, but the $4,500 or so in debt I found out I was in from unpaid bills is almost totally taken care of.  And that, people, is GOD.  No other way to explain all the events that had to take place, all the things that had to fall into place, so that all that debt would be paid.

Thank you, God, for being patient with me.  I don’t know how you do it, but I am glad you do. Thank you for being my provider, my rock, my fortress, my very foundation.  To you be all glory and honor and praise.

Posted May 10, 2016 by Maureen in Christian, Married Musings, Uncategorized

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As Well As I Can   1 comment

I’m still breathing in and out. Still going through each day.  Sometimes I can take a whole day at a time, other times I can only do half a day.  Or less.

There have been financial challenges since my husband passed.  I try not to worry about them, try not to fret, try not to carry those cares around with me and bring them to bed.  It is a struggle!  I have great faith that God will take care of me and provide for me, but I am a responsible person and believe in paying my bills, and when I am faced with a huge amount of them I feel bad that I can’t pay all of them right away.

In the meantime, God has provided an insurance policy from my union that I had no idea was even a possibility.  God has provided a check for $100 from missionary friends of mine.  They are having their own health and financial struggles, yet they sent me a check.  God has provided me a $1,000 one month reduction in rent from my property management company.  (Now if that isn’t God than I don’t know how else to explain them doing that!!)

God is watching out for this widow.  God is providing and will provide for me.  It is promised in the Bible and I believe it.  But I miss my most wonderful husband, and I am sad.  So, I am doing as well as I can, and having faith as much as I can right now.

Posted May 4, 2016 by Maureen in Christian, Married Musings