DISCLOSURE   1 comment

When I started this blog I was a frustrated middle-aged single lady who had been looking for love/a husband and was having a terrible time finding it.  This blog was an outlet for me, allowing me to write and be creative while talking about my dating troubles.

I had been searching for someone who I could spend the rest of my life with, and was not having any success.  Maybe it was my ‘standards’.  Maybe it was that I am a conservative republican in a very liberal, mostly godless part of the country.  Maybe I wasn’t following God’s leading properly.

Whatever the reason or reasons, I had nothing but bad luck and bad dating experiences.  So I laid off and waited and was praying about other things I could do or should do.  And then one day I replied to an ad on Craigslist.  It wasn’t an ad looking for someone, or asking for someone.  It was more of a short rant about the problems with dating, from a middle-aged man.  I responded to the ad, complimenting him on his good writing and descriptive language of how hard it was to find someone.  I expected no response.  I had done that kind of thing before because I believe in encouraging people whenever I can.  Sometimes I would receive a “thank you” response but most often I would receive no response, and I expected the same.

He wrote back.  And I wrote back.  And, we have been dating for almost three years now.

At first I didn’t write about it because I wasn’t sure where the relationship was going, or if was going anywhere at all.  Then later I didn’t write about it because he had had a previous girlfriend detail their relationship in a blog and he was very sensitive about the subject.  Any time I mentioned him or alluded to him I always cleared it with him first.

So I haven’t shared very much, but there is another reason other than that he had a previous bad experience with blogs during a relationship.  He is an atheist and I am a born-again Christian.  I have experienced a lot of head wagging, scolding, and lecturing from family and friends over it.  Not everyone, but certainly a lot of people.  They can’t understand why I would even bother continuing the relationship, and have made little or no effort to get to know him.  I had a family member tell me that, being divorced and also a Christian, according to their interpretation of the Bible, I should only seek to marry 1) a former priest, 2) a never-married man, or 3) a widower.  Anything else would be a sin.

Do you believe me when I tell you I have spent a lot of time in prayer over this?  And I am convinced that God has sent me someone who meets my dreams and desires, even ones I hadn’t realized, in a life partner.  I don’t know why God has sent me an atheist, but from my hours of prayer over this I believe that I am in God’s will over this relationship.

A blogger that I like and respect has said that she has found it is important to write about what she wants to, and not to try to cater to what she thinks people would want to hear.  I have followed that advice by not writing about my relationship, and gradually the hits and comments and followers to this blog have dropped to almost nothing.  And I found myself ………………. not minding.  I didn’t start this blog to build a following, or to have each blog entry get a bigger number of “likes” than the last one.  I started it for me.

And I will continue to write about what I want to.  I may mention my boyfriend more often.  We have struggles in our relationship because of circumstances beyond our control, so there is no chance we will be married in the foreseeable future.  Which I am also convinced is God’s will.  I may solicit advice about some of our struggles and circumstances.  I may detail the kind of wonderful person he is, and how we worked out how to deal with the differences in our beliefs.  We shall see.

So there it is – what I have been holding back for all this time.  If I get no reposts, likes, comments, or new followers from this post, I am content.  I am a child of God, God is good – all the time – and God is still on the throne.

Take care and God bless,

Maureen

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Posted May 27, 2014 by Maureen in Being Single, Christian, Musings

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One response to “DISCLOSURE

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  1. Good luck in your relationship. 🙂

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