Archive for January 2013

The LIST   2 comments

When you were younger, did you have a “LIST” of what qualities your future mate would have?  I did.  What was on your list?

I remember having a long list.  They had to have at least an interest (better yet – active interest) in a variety of things I was interested in.  They had to be of a certain height and be employed in a job that would provide for us in the event I would stay home.  They had to like and want kids, they had to have a family that lived nearby, and they had to like but not be fanatics about football.  I can’t really remember everything on the list, but it went something like that.

Do you still have it?  Your “LIST”?  How has it changed over the years?  IF it has changed, that is. 

As I got older I realized that I got along with a wide variety of people (and they with me), and those people did not have many of the qualities that were on my “LIST”.  So, I thought, why is my list so long?  And that got me thinking – what were the most important things, to me?  What were the non compromisers, the got to haves, the bottom line?

I read an article recently that the online dating world is currently in a trend where your credit score is one of the things you are expected to reveal.  Whether in your profile, or after meeting someone.  There is even a dating web site dedicated to matching people with their credit scores.

Now in my opinion accepting or rejecting someone just on their credit score is too narrow a criterion to evaluate whether someone would be a good life mate for me.  If you think about it, there are a lot of reasons why someone might have a low credit score, that really have nothing to do with their core character or values.  For instance, I know more than person who went through years of struggle and credit problems because their divorced spouse had run up charges on multiple credit cards, or defaulted on a business, right before the divorce.  A credit score can be an indicator of the kind of person someone is, to be sure.  But I don’t think it is the only, nor even the final criteria.

So – do you have a “LIST”?  What is on it?  Since being in a committed dating relationship the past year and a half, I truly don’t remember what used to be on my “LIST”.

Posted January 23, 2013 by Maureen in Being Single, Randomness

Tagged with , ,

Just ONE Thing   Leave a comment

What would you do if you had met the man of your dreams…. but there was just one thing that made you hesitate?  Or second guess yourself?  Or give you pause?

For instance, what if you met a man (talking men here, since I’m a lady, but the same thing applies to women) who, as you got to know him more and more after dating several months, turned out to be the kind of man you had dreamed about and prayed for and who seemed to match you perfectly.  Terrific, right?  Except….. there was just one thing about him.  Just one, really. 

Not that he was perfect.  Oh, he had his faults and shortcomings.  But then, so do you.  No, the non-perfect things about him were nothing that would be deal breakers.  But….. that one thing.

What would that one thing be for you?

That he ate with his mouth open?

That you couldn’t stand his grown kids?

That his family was a horrible mix of dysfunction, addiction, alcoholism, and incarceration?  AND they lived nearby?

That he sometimes skipped church on Sunday for other things?

That he only bathed twice a week?

That he was unemployed and living on Assistance and Welfare?

That he wanted badly to move to (fill in the blank) but you really did not want to live there?

That he didn’t handle his money well?

That he was not a born-again Christian?

That his health was not good, and was sure to get worse?

That he was a really bad driver?

That your family and friends all liked him…. except for that one thing?

And let us assume that the one thing we are talking about is something that, while possible to change (or improve, or remove) there was very little chance it would ever do so.  Especially since we are talking about a middle-aged man (since I’m a middle-aged woman we will assume that).  Then what?

What would you do?  What is your one thing?

Posted January 14, 2013 by Maureen in Being Single, Musings

Tagged with , , , ,