Is this thing on??   Leave a comment

Having long-distance internet relationships is difficult.  Though, I suppose any long-distance relationship would have the same difficulties I’m having.  So, if I don’t hear from him in two days…… what does that mean?  Anything?  Something big?  Anything that has to do with me? Or, is he not even thinking of me at all because of something else going on? 

You ask yourself while checking your internet connection and phone: “Is this thing on?”  You find yourself checking your email more often.  Verifying that you can actually receive emails.  Phone calls.  Text messages.  Yup – all working.  Sigh.

I keep telling  myself that if I had a boyfriend that lived locally (i.e. within an hour of where I live) I would not have these problems.  But, there is no guarantee.  Just because someone might live locally does not mean we would communicate more.  And even when I do get a communication — it is not always clear.  For instance, one of my long-distance internet male friends asked me this week if he could come for a visit “over the holidays”.  Not knowing for sure what “holidays” he was talking about, I asked him.  He said Christmas.  Ahhhhh…… yeah.  That’s, like, nine months away, dude.  You are asking if it is ok for you to come then????  How in the heck am I supposed to know THAT?  But I did not actually say that. I emailed him that he was welcome to come anytime.  Which he is.  I’m not holding my breath it will actually happen — but of course he is welcome to come anytime.

So while I sit and wait and ask myself  “Is this thing on?” I try to continue to honor God with each relationship.  I try not to second-guess myself, or check my email texts and voice mails more than necessary.  I just pray, and wonder some more.

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