A Year Ago   Leave a comment

What were you doing a year ago? 

I was working at a job that was very b-o-r-i-n-g.  I used to nod off at my desk daily.  There were multiple days every month where I would literally have nothing to do.  I read our Personnel and Procedures manual I don’t know how many times.  Filed everything within an inch of its life.  The company was Ok, the pay was barely Ok, and almost all of my co-workers were Ok.  It was just a very unchallenging, boring job.

The bloom had come off the rose on the man I had met online.  He had lied too many times — they were catching up with him.  His repeated assurances and promises were now hollow and I was feeling very used, angry, frustrated, and – yeah – angry.  At me, and at him.  It was once again “I thought he might be the ONE!” things, and it turned out he was a liar and very self-centered.  He was the one who contacted me again just recently and one of the things he said was “I’ll be with you soon and we can be married by Christmas.”  Which shows his arrogance and the fact that he was still a liar.  The nerve of some people.

I was still getting used to living in California.  Still picking up place names, finding where to hike and walk, checking out the different theater venues (I love going to small theaters) and also getting used to the weather. 

I was trying every which way I could, short of getting a second job, to figure out how I could buy Christmas gifts for everyone.  Didn’t make it.  I still had a really good time at Christmas – I just wasn’t able to buy anyone anything.

I was looking forward (well, no I wasn’t) to another New Year, which I would probably spend, once again, single.  I hadn’t yet gotten fully back on track with my spiritual life and prayer life, but I was working my way to it.  I had spent way too much time on the man I thought might be the ONE and not enough time with God and doing what He wanted me to do. 

And now, a year later?  A little older.  A little wiser.  Still single, with no prospects.  Still can’t afford Christmas gifts.  I do have a MUCH better job — thank GOD.  They’ll never get rid of me at this job – ha ha ha ha ha.  Our house remodel is done — thank GOD.  Except for the main bathroom and landscaping.  I’m still healthy — haven’t gained any more weight.  I am still seeking God and wanting His plan for me.  Not 100% sure what that will look like in California — I still don’t have a clear direction.  But I’m searching, spending time with Him and reading His word. 

What about you?  What were you doing a year ago?  The more things change, the more they stay the same.  And one thing I can always count on — God does not change.  Praise the name of the Lord.

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Posted November 3, 2010 by Maureen in Being Single, Christian, Musings

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