Endings…. and Beginnings   Leave a comment

I am at another ending. Sigh. I have ended it with the man I was dating.  Once again I picked someone who was not ready for a relationship. 

Oh, it seemed as if he was ready.  But he was a catch-and-release kind of guy.  He loved the chasing and catching.  But after that he started to lose interest….. and drifted…… right out of my life.  It probably didn’t help that I did not let him get away with his blame-shifting and justification and false fronts and the avoidance techniques he used.  Darn me – I just insisted on honesty and communication.  For someone who lives out of state is it unreasonable to want to talk to that person on the phone at least three times a week?  Am I just a clingy wacko to think that is a reasonable request?  Am I totally off my rocker to expect, sometime in the next three months, HE come visit ME?  Am I too desperate if I did want to spend face-t0-face time with him?

Apparently that was asking too much.  Who knew?  And yet I was told I wasn’t independent enough.  Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!  If that did not illustrate the point that he hadn’t been paying attention and didn’t know me, then nothing else did.  An intelligent man like that, and he couldn’t come up with anything better than a lame “you aren’t independent enough for me”.  Of course, I called him on THAT, too.  What he wanted was someone with their own house or apartment so he could pack his few meager belongings and just slide right into a place already set up and waiting.  Get his own apartment for a few months?  Get a job and spend time dating face-to-face (rather than long distance) for a few months?  Nope, not for him.  Too much work.

He was a rolling stone and ……. he moved on immediately to the next girl.  I pray for her, I really do.  The thing is, after my initial hurt and few tears and asking “was it me?” I feel happier and better without him then I ever did with him.  He lost out – big time. 

So, I am at an ending.  But I am looking forward to other beginnings.  My face and heart are turned forward, looking ahead, and I’m not going to stay and wallow or chase after him.  Sometimes endings are hard. Beginnings can be hard, too.  But the important thing is you need to keep moving forward.

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Posted October 18, 2010 by Maureen in Being Single

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