My husband and I had been together 3 ½ years before we got married. I thought I knew him very well. We had experienced a lot together in those years – good and bad. Our relationship had gone through all kinds of changes, and weathered storms. I knew that I knew that I knew I wanted to marry this man and be his wife the rest of our lives. I was certain I knew him well.
And yet – after we were married I found out some things I had not known about him.
I had no idea he would make that particular sound when a heavy piece of glass got accidentally dropped on his foot.
I had no idea he was good at putting together things like a 4-shelf stand from Ikea. Make that anything from Ikea. He has way more patience than I in doing that stuff – and he follows the directions!
I didn’t know he got distracted so easily while unpacking. He does not work, so he is home most of the day every day, and when I come home I am invariably faced with pieces of projects in the dining room, living room, and library. Sometimes also down the hall.
I didn’t know he wouldn’t mind (heck – he asked me!) me rearranging his whole dresser. Refolding clothes, reorganizing, sorting.
I didn’t know he would be so protective of me enjoying at least part of the weekend. He actively seeks to get me to relax and not unpack or search for things or clean or organize or shop. He wants me to be able to enjoy the weekend, after working all week.
The lessons I’ve learned from these revelations are: You are never too old to learn something new. And – people can still surprise and even delight you even after you know them well.
I have something to share about God’s abundant blessing, but first I will share this. This week is moving week and I don’t have time for anything else.
Our two cats Belle (my cat) and Ko-Ko (my husband’s cat) have integrated very well since we got married. Thank God for that! On Sunday Belle was sitting just inside the partly closed bedroom door. She likes to do that since it gives her options on which way to go or run. Ko-Ko woke up and stretched as usual, then jumped off the bed on his way for his morning drink and snack. Belle was in the way. They had this conversation without words.
Ko-Ko: “Um, could I get by?”
Belle: “Shut up”
“I just need to get by”
“Are you still here?”
“Um…. ok…. let me go around you then….. oh. Huh.”
Belle ignores him.
“Can…. can I just…. would you let me….. I just want to go out the door.”
“Are you still talking?”
“If you could just move a little bit….”
Ko-K0 climbed back up on the bed. Silly cats! Here they are exploring the deck once I opened the door all the way so all could come and go as they pleased. Ko-Ko is the black and white kitty.
I’ve been pretty stressed lately. My new job is terrific and I love it, but it is much more stressful than my previous job. I have a long commute now, which I am finding puts stress time at the beginning and end of each day. My husband and I just got turned down for an apartment that would have — we thought — been perfect for us. And….. oh, I will spare you the long list.
All of that to say this: I have things to share and talk about, but I just have not had the time or energy (both at the same time) to sit down and write them. They will keep.
In the meantime, God is King and He is still on the throne, and these things, too, shall pass. Take care and God bless for now.
I made a promise to myself years ago and I want help in keeping it. After my divorce at 25 years old and all the many years since I have met and made friends with lots of single people. Almost all of them have gotten married. And the second they get married — and I really do mean it is immediately after — they stop being friends with me. I just drop off the face of the earth as far as they are concerned.
Now of course I realize that people’s lives and priorities change when they get married. I have never expected the same level of communication or activities with my friend once they got married. But to just DROP me? Not ever get another phone call or email from you? What is that??? Why did I deserve to be treated like that?
This has happened to me over and over and…. well, I’ve lost count. So I made a promise to myself. That I would never, ever do that to someone. I would never stop being friends with someone when I got married. That I would make an effort to still see them and talk with them.
I want to keep that promise. No one deserves to be dropped suddenly and without any good reason from a friendship. It is a terrible way to treat someone, and I never ever want to do it.
I love Christmas time. I like how it is colder and darker. I love the holiday lights, and shopping and wrapping. The songs and movies. The anticipation and preparation for celebrating the birth of Jesus.
Being single most of my adult life, I also hated the Christmas season. How I wished I had a special someone to buy gifts for! Who I could anticipate getting a special gift! It was lonely. It was dark and cold. Everyone else seemed happy and no one seemed to notice I was alone.
I know someone who had a truly horribly 2013, a pretty good 2014, and is really looking forward to 2015. I know someone who got hit by a car while biking, has already undergone two surgeries, and is struggling to find someone to take care of his dog while he is in the hospital for at least two more weeks. I know someone who had many struggles this year, but her faith in God has never wavered. I know someone who had a pretty darn good 2014, is in good health, and is looking forward to 2015 with anticipation and excitement. I know someone who is having her first Christmas with her husband, as they got married earlier this year.
So many people, so many different situations. So many emotions, so many different viewpoints and outlooks.
We can never know for sure what others are going through or what their internal life is. God knows. God hears, God sees, God cares. If nothing else, my prayer is that all of you would hold onto that. God loves you. God came to earth as a man for you, and he died for you. God is alive and waiting, oh waiting so patiently, for you to be by his side one day.
Peace and joy to you.
It is hard not to compare ourselves to others, isn’t it? I try to remember we are equal in God’s eyes. I try to remember things like treating others the same way I like to be treated; trust and obey; read the Bible every day; pray.
I’ve been a born-again Christian for over 30 years now, and sometimes I think I may be getting the hang of the Christian walk – even improving!
A reporter once asked Pablo Casals, who is arguably the best cellist ever, why he continued to practice the cello 6 hours every day. This was when Casals was in his 90’s and had been playing literally for decades. Casals replied, “Because I think I’m making progress.”
I may be making progress. But I keep on with my walk, despite internal and external criticisms and my own ignorance or laziness.
“… being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
I am getting over a cold. I’m at the nagging cough/still blowing my nose stage. Still just a bit “sick”, but recovering. I am also super super busy at work. I started a new job (same place, different position) in September and previously this had been one of my quiet times. Nope – not anymore. I am busier than a one-armed paper hanger.
But – I do have my Christmas shopping done. (Please don’t hate me) I had to get it done Thanksgiving weekend – I just didn’t have time otherwise.
Last weekend my sweetheart and I took a long-anticipated dinner out to a very expensive, Michelin-rated restaurant to celebrate out future life together. I bought a dress and new shoes. He had been there before (when he had a job making lots of money) but I had never been. As each delicious plate or bowl was brought to us, we feasted slowly, savoring all the flavors and spices. Then our main course was brought (a shared bone-in rib eye steak) and we went silent, savoring the seasoned meat that seemed to melt in our mouths. I smiled, watching him, as he closed his eyes and chewed, enjoying every mouthful.
“Normally, I would say to someone, ‘Kill me now – I can die happy now that I’ve had this meal'”, my sweetheart said to me. “But now I know that I won’t truly be happy until we are married.”
It was the perfect highlight to that evening.
Blessings on you as you go through this busy time. Remember the joy. Joy that did not depend on circumstances or personal situations. Remember how heaven rejoiced at the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.