This coming Sunday is Easter. I love Easter. I love that my Jesus rose alive from the grave for me, to wipe my sins away. I love the music, symbolism, and Bible descriptions surrounding the risen Lord and the empty tomb. I love the Spring flowers this time of year, new dresses to wear to church, hats, candy, eggs, egg hunts —- all of it.
But I have been struggling. I work right next to someone who is in her 60’s and has ADHD as well as anxiety issues. She is always in movement, always talking, and very, very anxious about, well, everything. It is a constant bombardment every day. The sister I live with is filled with fears and anxieties. I get only the peripherals of that, but it still inhabits the home we share and is pervasive.
I also have a huge down-grade in my living situation looming on the horizon. It is too complicated to go into all the details, but due to decisions my sister has made at some point in the future I will be forced into a living situation that is much lower and more precarious than I have had in my life.
I love the longer daylight hours and bloom plants everywhere – but I struggle with seeing beauty. I am secure in my knowledge that Jesus is Lord, there is only one God, and that I am saved by grace alone. But I struggle with holding onto happiness. I have many blessings in my life and am so fortunate in so many ways – but I struggle with anger and uncertainty about my future and what is going on with my sister.
I serve a risen savior, he’s in my heart today.
I know that He is living,
Whatever men may say
I see His hand of mercy,
I hear His voice of cheer.
And just the time I need Him
He’s always near.
He lives! He lives! Christ Jesus lives today!
He walks with me and talks with me
Along life’s narrow way.
He lives! He Lives! Salvation to impart!
You ask me how I know He lives?
He lives within my heart.
* As a side note to my previous post, I am now eating something different for lunch and snack, and I’ve changed the route I take home every night. How’s that for something new? I’m still thinking of dying my hair red.
I’ve been looking for a new job for a year now. I realized just today it has been a year. Sigh.
It is a tough job market out there. There are a l-o-t of people looking for work. The salaries are not very high and they want a lot of work for not very much money.
Because they can. There are so many people looking for a job employers can find someone who will take a job for $15 an hour when the employer should really (based on the job duties) be giving $20-$22 an hour.
However, as I keep reminding myself: I am blessed. I have a job. It may be one I want to leave for various reasons, but it is good steady work with good benefits. I would not have gotten the job without God’s help, and I am thankful for it.
So while I am discouraged with my job search, I carry on. Meanwhile, I do the best I can at my job and ask God’s guidance for leading me to a new job.
Have you ever wanted a change? Wanted to shake things up, try something new, disrupt your routine, expand your horizons?
I have. I do. The feeling comes on me suddenly and persists until I do something. Perhaps it is that springtime is around the corner? Shake off the cold and dark of winter and welcome in new flowers, growth, and more light? Or is it triggered by the Lent season?
I’m not sure what is causing the feeling, but I have learned that when I get that deep itch to do something different, I need to answer it. For this year’s itch I haven’t figured out what, exactly, to do. I’ve been praying a lot about to be used by God and have striven to make myself available for what His will is and where it will lead me. Is that the change? Or should I just paint my bedroom a different color?
What about you? Do you ever change things up in your life, or yourself?
For my scripture reading I am doing the read-scripture-in-order program. I enjoyed it so much the first time I’m going it again. During the time you read the books of Kings you also read Chronicles and Psalms.
Do you ever put yourself into your scripture reading? Do you wonder what it was like to walk through the Red Sea? See the world engulfed in water? See a giant like Goliath? See Solomon’s temple?
I often find myself wondering these things, thinking on the scripture I read that morning as I go about my day. What was it like to live in the desert with David when he was hiding from Saul, on the run with a band of men that looked to you for leadership and guidance and provision? David did it when he was young – probably in his late teens and early 20’s. That’s a lot of responsibility for someone so young, but he must have been good at it since the numbers of men joining him kept growing.
I recently read 2 Chronicles 22 and 28-29 about David making extensive plans and provisions for the temple that he knew his son Solomon would build. I don’t know why that section so strikes me every time I read it. Perhaps it is because I’m a woman and know how much enjoyment can be had by planning and saving and gathering – in preparation for a future home / event / baby / remodel.
By the time Solomon had established himself into his kingdom, everything was ready for the temple. How marvelous it must have looked! How awesome to live in Jerusalem during that time and see it all slowly take shape. What a blessing to be there during the dedication. And how wonderful it must have been to bring your sacrifice to the temple for the first Passover celebration!
What about you? What scripture do you really relate to and think about and picture yourself in?
Have you ever read one of those articles that talk about how dense guys are, and how they really miss obvious clues, and how funny it all is?
Are you a girl, and it has happened to you?
Yeah, me too.
Shortly after I was divorced in my middle 20′s I was working at an insurance company, providing administrative and technical support to claim handlers. They used hand-held recorders a lot in their jobs, and one of my jobs was to keep them running. Which meant I interacted with our Lanier rep a lot. There were various reps I dealt with (always professional and knew their stuff — the company was a pleasure to work with), and at one point we got a new rep.
The first time he walked in to talk over repairs and some new models they had my heart went pitter patter and I had to really concentrate so I wasn’t spending the whole time staring at him. Our professional relationship continued for many months, and it seemed that he enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed his. Phone conversations lingered. Our face-to-face meetings were drawn out. I was very attracted to him.
He was handsome, funny, intelligent. He also wasn’t tall, and as a short person myself that was important. That he was receptive to what I thought were very gentle vibes from me was pleasing to me and I enjoyed the business contacts we had.
Eventually, he moved up in the company. I remember when he called to say good-bye. We had a nice conversation, and as he usually did he made several humorous remarks that made me giggle.
Then he asked if possibly sometime we could go out for a drink after work. My first thought was “I don’t drink alcohol — what would I do in a bar?” and instead of answering his quiet pass, I giggled. There was a pause in the conversation and then it came to kind of an awkward close.
You’ll find this hard to believe, but I didn’t get it. Nope. Clueless! I had picked up on the fact that something had happened that I had missed. But I didn’t know what. I thought and thought about it, and by the next day it had finally percolated through my brain matter. UG!! He had made a pass at me and I BLEW it! I wanted to go out with this guy and get to know him better, and now I never would.
What an idiot. What a dolt. How could I be so stupid, right? Yup, that was clueless me.
So, it is not just guys who miss the obvious things. Sometimes us girls do it too.
I borrowed this picture from my church. This is why Christmas should be celebrated, and the whole reason for it. I wish you a blessed, peaceful Christmas time.
I had a friend in Washington when I lived there. She and her husband and three kids lived in a small house. The small kitchen and dining room area were in a large rectangle, with an opening out to the living room. On her windows in the kitchen and dining room she had a valance made out of very pretty fabric – bright colors with fruit and veggies. They added a nice accent to that area.
Once a year during her spring cleaning, she would take them down and wash them. One time she was telling me about her cleaning, and her great surprise at seeing the valances when they were put back up. They were so clean! She had not realized they had gradually, over time, gotten dirty and gritty. She had washed them as part of her spring cleaning – but she hadn’t noticed they were dirty.
I have friends who have a 3 bedroom apartment with a large covered deck. It isn’t used much, but I was out there working on a tile project a few weekends ago. I had seen the deck and been out on it for a year and a half, so I was used to how it looked. During the course of cutting the tile, bits and pieces of the tiles scattered and flew around where I was working, so when I was done I swept the floor of the deck. It was covered in a layer of dirt! I had not realized the floor was supposed to be a tan color – not the dark color (tan/black) I was used to seeing. The deck was covered in a thick layer dirt, but no one noticed.
Does this seem a strange blog entry for Christmas?? Well, I can’t help thinking of all the people I know personally, and all the people around the world, who don’t see any special significance for this time of year. For some it is a lonely time. For others it is a burdensome time – parties to attend, traveling, presents to select, buy, and wrap. For many it is stressful. And any combination of the above and other things. They don’t have joy; they don’t have wonder at the Savior come to earth as a baby. They know nothing of (or don’t care) the salvation that is possible because of the birthday we celebrate on December 25th. I can’t help thinking about those lost souls.
They don’t know they’re dead.
They don’t know they don’t need to stay dead.
They don’t know they can have salvation, forgiveness, and eternal life.
So while I do have joy and anticipation and thankfulness at this time of year – still, I can’t help thinking of all those lost souls who don’t know they are dead. God knows them, each one. God knows them by name and what is in their hearts and minds. All I can do is be the best light I can, and pray for them.
I wish you joy and peace and happiness during this season.