Forgiveness   Leave a comment

I read something today I wanted to share.  I read “Our Daily Bread” devotional every day.  I have been doing that for over 30 years now.  I like the little monthly booklets myself, but this popular devotional comes in other formats.

One of the devotionals I read today said, “You are never so much like Jesus, as when you forgive.”  And that struck a cord with me.  It also reminded me of something I heard in church last Sunday.  The Pastor was talking about when Jesus said, “It is finished!” on the cross.  The Greek word used for “finished” meant the debt was paid.  Not just paid, but paid for all time.  And by extension, when Jesus said that he was declaring that everyone’s sin debt had been paid.

How powerful is that?  That Jesus did that for us, in suffering, in anguish, in pain?  Thank you Jesus.

I have someone in my life that I have struggled to forgive.  This person, who is close to me, has said and done things that have been extremely hurtful to me.  I have really struggled with being around this person and being polite to them.  The things they have said cut me deeply. I have asked God for grace to deal with them, and He has granted me that.

And now I am thinking I just need to forgive.  And try to forget and put it behind me.  Because I do want to be like Jesus.  I want to be less like myself and the world and more like Jesus and the Father.

Do you have someone in your life you need to forgive?  By ourselves we can’t — but with God’s help, with the grace He provides, and remembering what Jesus did for us, we can.

Posted November 21, 2014 by Maureen in Christian, Musings

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Engaged   Leave a comment

It is official.  We picked out my rings 2 weeks ago, but I am now officially proposed to, and engaged to be married.  He wanted to wait to find the right words to say before he gave me the ring.

My honey and I were getting ready to go out to do some errands a few days ago.  I was going down the list with him:

“Do you have your sunglasses?”

“Right here in my pocket”

“Ok – you have your cane – where is your tea?”

“Got it”

“Do you have the list?”

“Yes – in my wallet”

And then we were ready and all of a sudden he said, “No – we forgot something important!”

“What?”

“Something really important!”  and he started a frantic search in his pockets.

“What!?” I exclaimed, not understanding what could have been forgotten to be so important.  And then he pulled out the little box with the ring in it.

I won’t share what he said because it was pretty personal, but it was really sweet and sentimental and was heart-felt.  I also shared some very sentimental and heart-felt words with him, and I said “Yes”.

We haven’t set a date yet, but it will be sometime next year and we will be eloping.  I feel very blessed by God that He brought to me someone who I love and respect, who is truly my partner.  A man who is my cheerleader and my protector; a man who is not perfect but who loves me, who is also not very perfect at all.

Posted November 18, 2014 by Maureen in Memories

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A Milestone   Leave a comment

Know what this is?

Engagement Ring

That’s my engagement ring.  We picked it up this weekend.  It’s an Alexandrite stone with diamonds in a white gold setting.

I’ve been waiting 25+ years for this.  To say I was happy would be a gross understatement.

Posted November 4, 2014 by Maureen in Being Single, Randomness

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The Club No One Wants to Join   Leave a comment

I have another blog entry to post, but this one has been rattling around in my back brain for a few weeks, so I’m going to post this one first.  I read an article online recently that struck several cords with me.  It was written by a woman who is a member of a club you never, ever want to be a member of.  The Murdered Child’s Club.

My 18 year old only son John was murdered in September of 2000.  So many of the things the writer of the article said really resonated with me.

In the club, you talk about things such as:
Do I move or do I stay?
What do I do with his things?  Do I keep them, give them away, throw them away?

In the club, you discuss with other members such things as:
Did they catch the person(s)?
Did you attend the trial?
How do you deal with anger?  Forgiveness?

In the club, you ask other members things such as:
How do you handle friends that no longer want to talk to you?
How do you talk about your son when your family no longer even mentions his name?
What do you say to people who ask you if you have any children?

In the club, you talk about such things as:
Your Before life and your After life

In the club, you talk about things such as:
What do I do every year on the anniversary of his death?
What do I do on his birthday?
How do I get through Mother’s Day?

There are no dues to pay and no meetings to attend.  There is no fundraising, no t-shirts, no conventions.  There is pain, hurt, anger, bewilderment and never-ending loss.  No one wants to talk about it; no one wants to hear about it.  No one knows what to say or how to act around you.

It does get better as more time goes on and the actual event starts receding into the past.  But it never, ever goes away.  And you never, ever get over it.  I will say this, though.  Immediately after it happened God flooded my heart with forgiveness.  I have never had to deal with the anger that other members of this club carry with them, including my former husband.  I was able to tell the two young men responsible that I forgave them.  I thank and praise God for that.

Perhaps I will write more on this subject another time.  I’m not looking for sympathy or attention.  I am simply sharing my thoughts on something that struck deep cords within me.

Posted October 30, 2014 by Maureen in Uncategorized

Fast, or Slow?   Leave a comment

How long does it take you to decide if a relationship is “right”?  When does that point come when you decide that that person is worth getting to know, worth spending time with?

Are you a fast decider, or slow?  And is one better than the other?

We’ve all heard of people falling in love at first sight.  Do you know anyone that happened to?  I don’t.  That doesn’t mean I think it can’t happen, though.  I’ve heard of people who do a lot of dating that can tell after the first date.  I’ve never had a first date that good — have you?

I know myself pretty well by now and I know that I either decide fast, or I take a long time.  Yes, I know that is contradictory.  I’m a woman, what can I say?  I have enough common sense and intelligence to take my time to make up my mind…. but I also have ADD.  Which can mean I am impulsive.  So sometimes I leap before I look.

In relationships…. I have done both.  I have decided fast, and I have decided slow.  And you know, both choices have not always worked out well for me.  Maybe everyone has their own speed, their own comfort zone for deciding on relationship matters.  What about you?  Are you fast, or slow?

 

Posted September 23, 2014 by Maureen in Being Single, Musings

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IT HAPPENED   1 comment

After a lllllllooooooonnnnnnnggggggg time waiting, lots of false starts/hopes and disappointments…… I got a new job.

A better job.  A job that pays more.  I’ll have my own office (for the very first time in my life).  I will be working with tech geeks and nerds again.

GOD IS GOOD ——- ALL THE TIME!

I pray that I can glorify God in this new position and that He will use me as He wills.  Thank you, God, for your many blessings.  I don’t deserve it.

SnoopyDance-Multiple

(Snoopy expresses it best, don’t you think?)

Posted September 3, 2014 by Maureen in Christian, Musings

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Inefficacious   Leave a comment

I am in an inefficacious situation.  I have been for some time.  I have gone around and around, upside down and inside out, backwards and forwards, thinking of a way or ways to get out of or change my situation.

I have been unable to do so.  Can’t figure it out.  Nothing I think of will work.

I live in the San Francisco bay area, one of the most expensive places to live in the U.S.  When I moved here six years ago I knew the prices (everything, really) were going to be higher than what I was used to in Washington state.  I just didn’t figure on how much higher. My other miscalculation was that I didn’t realize that the salaries here would not be commensurate with the cost of living.  You would think salaries would match, wouldn’t you?  I mean – I’m not being unrealistic in my thinking that most salaries would be higher to meet the cost of living demands in the area, right?  Right?  Please tell me I am not crazy.

Everything thing here – every.single.thing. – is high.  And it keeps going up.  No end in sight – none.  Expensive.  No matter what you want to do – it is too much.  It is more than you expect.  It is more than what you paid last time.  Every.Thing.

Now normally – and by that I mean in my past life experiences – I could cut expenses, move to a smaller place, make sure I didn’t have any debt, move further away to save money, etc.  All the usual things you could think of.  Except, I am already doing all those things.  I pay less for a mortgage payment than I could ever hope to pay for rent on even a one bedroom apartment.  There just isn’t anything else I can cut or cut back on that would allow me enough money to pay rent.

And in order for my boyfriend and I to marry and live together I will have to leave the home I am sharing with family members and share a mortgage with, and rent somewhere.  Except that I cannot afford anything within a 40 minute commute of where I work.  If I don’t mind a 4 hour commute every single day – well, then!  I have lots of options.  Tons of options!  And I’d be dead in a week.  I cannot possibly handle a 4 hour commute every day.

In Psalm 84 it talks about going “from strength to strength”.  I have often found comfort in those words.  The Lord leads my steps.  God directs my path.  I may go through valleys, but always there is something to strengthen me along the way.  An oasis.  Rest.  Peace.  Strength.  The felt love or presence of the Lord.

And so it is now.  I am betwixt and between a rock and a hard place.  But I do not despair.  I do not stay discouraged.  No – my Lord sustains me. I move from strength to strength, seeking God always and asking for His will in my life.

Posted July 30, 2014 by Maureen in Musings

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